The Art of the Tease

We watch a lot of Bluey at our house. If you haven’t seen it, it’s an animated kids’ show about a family of Australian Heelers, and I probably enjoy watching that more than any other offering available (including the Best Ever Food Review Show, which is also really entertaining). One episode in season 3 called ‘Fairytale’ is a story that their dad tells the kids about growing up in the 80’s and getting stuck in a game of jinx because nobody would say his name. It brought back so many memories; I’d forgotten about all the little ways that we had to tease and annoy each other.

Teasing comes so naturally (at least to our children) that I sometimes think it must be a developmental necessity, to tease and be teased. Maybe it teaches critical thinking skills? Gets their heart rate up at least 100 times a day? Not that it doesn’t drive me crazy. Loxley’s screams reach near glass-shattering frequency when being teased, and Bruce alternates between growls and tears. Boyd yells and looks for me, and the general feeling is just chaos unleashed. But they all participate in the actual misdeed, even Boyd. He now reaches for Loxley’s hair with a smile and lets go only when I ask him in a stern(ish) voice. Loxley’s angle is that she isn’t as attached to things as Bruce tends to be, and she will withhold her toys or participation in a game just to bother him. And Bruce has recently discovered the companion arts of copying and ignoring, which appear to be Loxley’s greatest pet peeves of all time.

My strategies in dealing with teasing vary by the hour (and yes, I know that is not ideal…just real). Sometimes I let them figure it out on their own, as long as it doesn’t escalate to physical harm. Sometimes I offer coping strategies. (e.g. “Loxley, if Bruce is copying you then just don’t talk for a while and he will forget about it.” “But I LOVE to talk!!”) And sometimes I lose my cool and put everyone in a different room to calm down (including myself).

The hardest part is that I know how much fun it is to tease. I was a relentless teaser as a child sibling, and regularly enjoyed the wicked gratification of driving someone crazy. I clearly remember the emotional conversation that I had with my mom about a week before my baptism in which I confessed my worry about reaching the age of accountability, because while I wanted to go to heaven to be with my family, I also thought that it sounded really boring if teasing wasn’t allowed. Only the sobering thought of anyone in my family feeling unwanted/unloved taught me to be more careful, and over time I think I grew to enjoy the relationships sans teasing enough to let the practice go (mostly). I can only hope and pray that our kids will come to the same conclusion!

And now as the kids are crying and chasing each other around the table, I should probably intervene. 😅 Cheers.

-Kiera